Useless Fun Facts About the Human Body

Yet there are also millions of people who are hell-bent on clogging our brains with facts and trivia that won't help us in a million years. While trying to further this futile cause, I have enlisted below a few useless facts about the human body, complemented by funny comments.

So, read on and enjoy them, for they will definitely tickle your funny bone (by the way, the funny bone is not a bone - it is a nerve in the elbow!)

The facts given here are meant to educate and amuse you at the same time. It serves to remind you, the reader, that biology can and is quite a fun subject; you just need to look beyond its obvious realm and dig deeper.

• Right-handed people live, on an average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (So for all the left-handed people out there - it's not too late to become ambidextrous)

• Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks, or else it will digest itself. (Would this phenomenon be called 'in-digestion' then?)

• The scientific name of earwax is cerumin. (This is not taken from the last Harry Potter book)
• It takes the combined interaction of 72 different muscles to produce audible human speech. (So the next time a person around you is talking too much, you can always quote this fact and ask him to keep quiet)

• In the time interval between death and the onset of rigor mortis in a body, the contraction of muscles can cause the body to turn over on its side. (Is that how they came up with the saying 'turning in the grave'?)
• Your spinal cord, if typical, is around half an inch thick. (If it's lesser than that, does it make a person spineless?)

• Your body, if normal, makes its own alcohol; about 1 oz. each day. (Just because you know this fact now, doesn't mean you have to become cannibalistic - if you feel like having a drink go out and buy one)
• The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet (9 m) into the air. (I hope this wasn't accidentally discovered in the midst of a surgery)

• A healthy adult can draw in about 200 to 300 cubic inches (3.3 to 4.9 liters) of air in a single breath, but at rest, will use only about 5% of this inhaled volume. (Well, if nothing else, at least we're recycling our oxygen)
• The distance between the eyes is typically equal to the width of each eye. (That's why all aliens are shown to have widely spaced eyes)

• The average person is about one-fourth an inch taller at night. (And I always thought the moon only had a pull effect on tides. Silly me)
• One-fourth of the 206 bones present in the human body are located in the feet. (So there are a lot options when it comes to breaking bones in the feet. So you might go from Happy feet to snappy feet in a second!)

• The average life of a taste bud in the mouth is 10 days. (So every ten days, your taste buds turn into waste buds)
• Human blood travels around 60,000 miles (96,540 km) per day on its journey through the various vessels of the body. (Around the blood in 80 ways?)

• The human head weighs about 8 pounds. Also, an average brain can hold the same amount of information as 500 sets of encyclopedias.
• The sound heard by a listener when holding a seashell to his ear, does not come from the shell itself but in fact, is the echo of the blood pulsing in the listener's own ear. (Now that's what I call bloody music!)

• After you die, your body starts to dry out, creating the false illusion that your hair and nails are still growing after death. (Someone was really dying to find out this one)

• It takes around 17 muscles to smile and 43 muscles to frown.
• The thyroid cartilage is what is more commonly known as Adams apple. (Firstly, it was Eve that picked the apple. Plus, the bulge doesn't even look like an apple!)

• The substance that our blood resembles most closely in terms of its chemical composition is sea water. (Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the saltiest of them all?)
• The human brain is 80 percent water, which is more watery than our blood. (As Ron would say after hearing this fact - bloody hell!)

• A woman's heart, beats much faster than a man's. (Hence, we can deduce that a woman's organs get more blood than a man's, hence a woman's brain works faster than a man's!)
• False teeth are often radioactive. (Yet another reason to not go to the dentist)

• You are twice as likely to have a heart attack, if you have gum diseases in your mouth. (Okay, so now it comes down to choosing between dying of radiation or dying of a heart attack. I prefer dying of slow radiation poisoning - so I will go to the dentist)
• Fingernails, toenails, and hair are all made up of dead cells. (Yet they require maintenance. Sigh)

• The easiest sounds for the human ear to hear, & which are carried best when pronounced properly, are in order, "ah", "aw," "eh," "ee," and "oo." 
• Unlike other organs, a person's nose and ears continue to grow throughout his or her life. (So Pinocchio, Spock, and all elves, stop complaining)

• Heavy beer drinkers hardly ever get diarrhea because bacteria causes diarrhea, & beer makes stomach acid which kills bacteria. (So even if you die of liver cirrhosis, at least you don't have to worry about diarrhea!)
• The average cough comes out of your mouth at 60 miles (96.5 km) per hour, while a sneeze can travel as fast as 100 miles per hour.

• The strongest voluntary muscle in the body is - tongue. (Now you know what defense to use, if your dentist drills in too deep)
• Kids grow faster in springtime compared to other seasons. (What about places that don't have three seasons?)
• Every second, 15 million blood cells are destroyed in the human body. (Who needs enemies, when you have a spleen like that?)

• During a 24-hour period, the average human will breathe around 23,040 times. (Whoever sat and counted his breaths, must have been breathless by the end of this ordeal)

• The only part of the body that has no blood supply, is the cornea in the eye. It actually takes up oxygen directly from the air. (Moral of the story: If you drown and die, you go blind first and then die)
• The human body has over 40 miles of nerves. (The guy who measured this had some nerve to do so)

• An average human scalp has 100,000 hair. (Who ever counted that? The mad hatter?)
• Human tongue prints are as unique as fingerprints (It takes a hawk's eye to analyze the human tongue like that)
• If you unfolded your brain completely, it would cover an ironing board. (Whoever discovered that, has one soiled iron board lying around at home!)

• Human bones are much stronger than concrete. (Whoever discovered that, I am sure, even if he stands by this fact, still has broken bones)
• 8% of human beings in the world have an extra rib. (Aww, they'll probably remain single all their life, I think God forgot to make their Eve out of the extra rib!)

So, I sincerely hope you just spent the last few minutes reading this long and ineffectual story on utterly useless facts about the human body. Although, no one will guarantee the truthfulness of these facts, everyone can safely guarantee that they are, beyond a shade of doubt, useless.