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Laudable Funny Comebacks

Funny comebacks are a weapon that everyone should have as their reserve...in bounty. Then use them whenever required in the form of witty repartee. Read on for some of the best comebacks.
Rujuta Borkar
In a situation where there is a battle of the wits involved, there is always that one person who is armed with funny comebacks. He is the one who can literally disarm an opponent with the gift of being quick and witty.
Witty comebacks are the way to go if one wants to win an argument. The satisfaction one gets in doling out funny comeback lines to put people in their places can rarely be replaced by any other feeling or emotion.
Comebacks bring with them a feeling of yielding power in the truest sense - the power of the brain. Because one really needs to be very witty and quick to come up with these potent repartee and comebacks and force the person to discard the verbal argument.
Many people, however, cannot manage to be that quick or funny, for those people then, here are a list of some of the most intelligent comebacks to say. Use them well...and then pave the way for winning an argument.

Good Comebacks

Call out to the muse of sarcasm and wit and take some inspiration from these really hilarious comebacks.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.
Person 1: Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?
Person 2: Yeah, so I see...all spotty.
Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day.
Woman: Go to hell.
Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?
Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...
Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!
Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes.
Person 1: How many people work in your office?
Person 2: About half of them
Man: So why haven't you banged any loser guys yet?
Woman: Cause I've been waiting for you.
Man: Hey you're pretty cute!
Woman: I know.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account. Then the door.
Lady Nancy Astor once got annoyed at Churchill.
"Winston," she said sharply, "If you were my husband I'd put poison in your coffee."
"And if I were your husband," responded Churchill, "I'd drink it."

One Liner Comebacks

You really can't go wrong with these one liners. You've seen these kinds of liners on T-shirts.
  • Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
  • I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
  • I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
  • Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
  • I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
  • I'm blonde what's your excuse?
  • Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
  • I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  • I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • His teeth are brighter than he is.
  • I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Yo Mamma - Comebacks

Here are some classic 'Yo Mamma' one liners for you. Learn people, learn.
  • Your mamma is so fat that when she stepped on the scale it said one at a time please.
  • Yo mamma's so fat it takes two buses and a train to get on her good side.
  • Yo mamma so fat she stepped on the scale and it said to be continued...
  • Yo mamma's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
  • I thought you were ugly ... and then I met your mamma.
  • Yo mamma's so fat, she uses the pacific ocean to take a bath.
  • Yo mamma so stupid her favorite color is clear.
  • Yo momma's so fat, she walked in front of the TV and I missed a whole series of friends.
  • Yo mamma's so fat, when she stepped onto the scale it said 'To infinity and beyond.'.
Do you think you can ever go wrong with these funny comebacks? I really don't think so. Who wouldn't love to be funny and witty, pray tell? So now start catching on and hone the power of being really, really adept at repartee.